Angry Young & Jewish

National Jew Exchange

2009-02-23T19:43:00.001-08:00

I only can hope that someone's making a good deal for Jews these days.

Hear All, Trust Nothing in Gaza

2009-01-12T06:31:00.000-08:00

I did a video blog for once. It's about the situation in Israel (Yet again). It's one of those things that I felt was better spoken than written. Unfortunately, the lighting in my computer room was not very good, so all you see is essentially a dark jewey silhouette.

Alan Dershowitz Sez It All

2009-01-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

You are being manipulated by the CNN Strategy.

Dershowitz has always been very pro-Israel, but every single thing he says happens to be the truth.

Full of Holiday Fail

2008-12-08T18:00:00.000-08:00

x-posted to my LJ

Not Quite the Season, But Funny Nonetheless

2008-08-06T13:33:00.001-07:00

What kind of asshole Christian goes to this church?

I know it's true, but they don't have to rub it in our faces.

Found here.

Suck My Matzah Balls

2008-07-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last night, my wife took me to see a Capitol Fringe Festival show, called, Slash Coleman Has Big Matzah Balls, a one-man show. The playwright/performer is a Jewish guy from Chester, Virginia (outside of Richmond). I figured, "This guy's from Richmond, from a mixed marriage, and grew up around a bunch of rednecks, so he probably has a bunch of funny stories and jokes about growing up."

I even thought that I might like to meet him, swap stories about being Jewish in Richmond and see if we knew any of the same people from Temple-life. Hell, he even went to Radford University like I did.

The show started out with him doing a multi-character bit with himself and a radio announcer, explaining his family background. It wasn't particularly funny or bold, but it at least was fairly well-executed. Then he went for a costume change. That's when it got a bit well, bad...

He came out dressed like this:

I couldn't tell if he was trying to be hipster-ish, funny, edgy or what, but this new character he brought out was a combination of absurdity and obnoxious. I really couldn't figure out what he was trying to accomplish the entire time. Throughout the play, he talked about how his family defined themselves through the two yellow triangles made to form the "Juden" stars during Nazi Germany's rule of Europe. All he could talk about in his show was "searching for his missing triangle." Beyond that, I wasn't really getting the references. Failing any of that, it was just bloody annoying. Judge for yourself:

The worst part was when he tried to get an audience volunteer to come onstage and play a "Fairy GodJewMother." Each and every member of the audience refused to participate and finally he verbally strongarmed a middle-aged lady to come up. The tension and obvious uncomfortableness that this audience member had onstage was staggering and I felt so sorry for her to be that embarrassed. The whole concept of the "Fairy JewGodMother" got even more absurd, when he tried to make it seem like she made him pregnant. It gets better: He then gives birth to a big matzah ball. This didn't make any sense to me either.

At this point, he went back for another costume change and Grace and I left. The only other show we've ever walked out of was Cat on a Hot Tin Roof which was being shown at Radford University when I was there for one of my professor's retirement parties. The show suffered from the thigh-slapping school of acting and we couldn't take it so we booked it and went to see The Departed. Thankfully, after our hasty departure from the Warehouse Theatre, we went straight to the L.A. Bar on Columbia Pike and had half-priced burgers with our awesome friends.

What I don't get is that there is already a positive DCist review of his show, and the guy, according to his myspace is brimming with supporters, and hangers-on, and his website has a bunch of really good reviews as well.

Am I missing something here? Is my sense of humor and authority on what is funny and what isn't so out of touch? Do hipsters have some kind of alternate reality style of humor that completely eludes me? Am I going to be persecuted for still thinking Mel Brooks, Lewis Black and Yidcore are the paragon of Jewish humor?

If this guy is considered funny, then I'll just throw out my Smartassery Certificate right now and become a humorless drone.

One final note: One of the friends that he had brought to the show that were sitting in the front row looked almost exactly like a Ukranian girl (she didn't have much of an accent, but still looked Eastern European) I had gone out on a couple dates with while I was in Richmond between semesters during college. She was the friend of a friend I asked out... we went out, had a good time and she pounced on me. We hooked up and I remember asking her if it was something we'd do again.

She then said, "It's just a booty call."

Yes, I got called a "booty call" by a hot Ukranian girl. *shrug*

This can't be right...

2008-03-10T07:11:00.001-07:00

...we always charge!

Merry Fucking Christmas To You Too!

2007-12-21T11:05:00.000-08:00

Some people think saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" is a PC invention to satiate the multi-cultural liberals in this country and that it ruins people's visions of a traditional Christmas that only exists in their minds.

Nothing could be further from the truth. In actuality, saying "Happy Holidays" is simply a way to ensure that you're not going PISS OFF AN ANGRY JEW and get your ass verbally or physically handed to you! I don't appreciate the condescending tone I get when I'm told "Happy Holidays" as if it's some kind of major imposition on the people who already hold a religious majority in this country. I encourage Christians everywhere to celebrate their holiday in a way that's meaningful to them. It becomes a problem when they think everyone should be doing the same thing they are. Fuck you sideways if you think that shoving it down my proverbial throat is a surefire way for me to enjoy the holidays. The "War on Christmas" is even less of a winnable war than Iraq.

"Happy Holidays" is simply just a way to wish someone well during a season with several holidays from various denominations, just a narrow view of the holidays. If you live in a town where you're sure no one is Jewish, Muslim, or Atheist, then fine, say "Merry Christmas." But if you're calling a national association in the heart of a diverse city, then God help you if you say "Merry Christmas" to me, especially in a combative tone...

... As the next person who wishes me a "Merry Christmas" gets a tire-iron to the throat.

D & D players in Israel & the IDF

2006-12-13T09:39:00.000-08:00

Israeli Defense Forces Recruits automatically given lesser security clearances if they admit to playing 'Dungeons & Dragons'

The reason being given is that they're "detached from reality."

The only response I can think of would be, "But my bag of holding should give me a higher level no matter what!"

x-posted to Weirdjews

Jews and Punk Rock

2006-12-04T20:57:00.000-08:00

"Punk is Jewish."

"No Holocaust, no punk." Yes, the roiling anger and dark humor of punk was a reaction to lingering feelings of victimization. Yet, Jewish punks also adapted Nazi slogans and symbols both as a shock tactic and a campy send up. Songs like the Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop " and the Dictators' "Master Race Rock " weren't celebrating Nazism as much as mocking its ignominious defeat, the author maintains.

I've never really determined how I felt about the use of militant German imagery that was common in the early days of punk (and eventually translated to the goth and industrial scenes). I wasn't there in the early days so it's hard to know what was exactly going on in peoples' minds back then. I've heard the argument, "they were just trying to piss people off" pretty often and yet I still don't consider it a valid enough reason for a born-Jew to display such a vile symbol of hate.

Normally, when you want to piss people off, it's for a specific reason and you're trying to prove a point. To this day, I'm not sure even they knew what that point was.

Keep God Inside of Us

2006-11-29T14:53:00.000-08:00

Norman Lear Just became my hero.

"Do I believe in God? Yes. But what has that really told you about me? I’m Jewish. Whether you know some or a great deal about Judaism that would still tell you little about me...

...So I propose we continue worshipping openly, but keep God deep within us where He lives. And publicly, let us gather with our prophets around reverence and the rule. Reverence for our planet, what we know to be our universe, reverence for daybreak and nightfall; for our children and their children; reverence for one another and for that golden rule and the prophets that passed it down to us."

Brilliant. Couldn't agree more.

What's that, you say? You don't agree? You're going to quote Bible scripture at me?

What scares me the most about a good chunk of the negative responses to Mr. Lear's well-thought-out essay is not just their fervent belief in their religion and willingness to shove it in your face, but rather the fact that fundamentalist Christians have no arguing capabilities whatsoever.

Santa has infiltrated our publications

2006-11-28T08:52:00.000-08:00

My parents bought me a subscription to Moment Magazine earlier this year. I called them to change my address since I moved. I get put on hold and what should be playing as the hold music?

Christmas tunes. An elevator-version of "Rudolph" was playing.

Yes, I called a Jewish magazine and got Christmas music while on hold.

I think I'm witnessing the downfall of the Jewish people here. Christmas must be destroyed.